|
|
The Black Hole© |
|
|
Friday June 23, 2000 Hey Hey, Welcome to issue 4 of The Black Hole©, your source of Nosey News©. This edition is only a revised one as it's been a really hectic week, we went to a wedding in the US and my wonderful car broke down. On Monday, we went over to fix it, but two of the bolts broke. So...$200 american later, I got to drive my car back to Canada, only to have it break down at the entrance to my driveway... I am still waiting for reader input, so some of the following news may or may not be straight from my imagination. You'll have to judge for yourself... Disclaimer: There is no intention of maliciousness involved with this newsletter, only the pursuit of the comedy and tragedy of our everyday lives… On the Home Front... Adam and Jordan left for Calgary and are having a blast. We will be getting there today. I am both anxious and excited. Already drooling over my Boston Brute. (come on, its been 2 1/2 years). Mike has done a wonderful job with the keyboards for So New (the song we are doing in Calgary). I have asked Laura to sing the harmony so I have someone to hide behind while we perform...Now I just need my voice back. The Best of Luck and A Lifetime of Happiness to Cindy and Lenny. Happy Wedding Day! |
First Edition Issue 4
Hot
Links www.rinkworks.com/dialect www.camarades.com email the editor with your Nosey News
|
| Joke of the Week from Gwen Finally a Barbie I can relate to! At long last, here are some NEW Barbie dolls to coincide with her and OUR aging gracefully. These are a bit more realistic... 1. Bifocals Barbie. Comes with her own set of blended-lens fashion frames in six wild colors (half-frames too!), neck chain and large- print editions of Vogue and Martha Stewart Living. 2. Hot Flash Barbie. Press Barbie's bellybutton and watch her face turn beet red while tiny drops of perspiration appear on her forehead. Comes with hand held fan and tiny tissues. 3. Facial Hair Barbie. As Barbie's hormone levels shift, see her whiskers grow. Available with teensy tweezers and magnifying mirror. 4. Flabby Arme Barbie. Hide Barbie's droopy triceps with these new roomier-sleeved gowns. Good news on the tummy front, too -- tummy support panels are included. 5. Bunion Barbie. Years of disco dancing in stiletto heels have definitely taken their toll on Barbie's dainty arched feet. Soothe her sores with the pumice stone and band-aids, then slip on soft slippers 6.No-More-Wrinkles Barbie. Erase those pesky crow's-feet and lip lines with a tube of sparkle-Spackle from Barbie's own line of exclusive age-blasting cosmetics. 7. Soccer Mom Barbie. All that experience as a cheer-leader is really paying off as Barbie gets her old high-school megaphone out and Ken, Jr. Comes with minivan in robin-egg blue or white, and cooler filled with doughnut holes and fruit punch. 8.Mid-life Crisis Barbie. It's time to ditch Ken. Barbie needs a change, and Fred (her personal trainer) is just what the doctor ordered, along with 20 Prozac. They're hopping in her new red Miata and heading for the Napa Valley to open a B&B. Includes a real tape of "Breaking Up Is Hard to Do." 9. Divorced Barbie. Sells for $199.99. Comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, and Ken's boat. 10. Recovery Barbie. Too many parties have finally caught up with the ultimate party girl. Now she does Twelve Steps instead of dance steps. Clean and sober, she's going to meetings religiously. Comes with a little copy of The Big Book and a six-pack of Diet Coke. 11. Post-Menopausal Barbie. This Barbie wets her pants when she sneezes, forgets where she puts things, and cries a lot. She is sick and tired of Ken sitting on the couch watching the tube, clicking through the channels. Comes with Depends and Kleenex. As a bonus this year, the book "Getting In Touch with Your Inner Self" is included. Down on the Farm... Mark and the boys went branding on Saturday at a ranch just around the corner.
Everything was very traditional, lots of folks came out to help and everyone
pitched in to get the 170 calves done. Every calf was branded, vaccinated,
de-horned, implanted and castrated where necessary. The ropers, wranglers, and wrestlers
were kept busy all afternoon. Naturally when the job was done there was plenty
|
Brag Box After winning 3 firsts at the Kiwanis Festival, Laura was chosen as the recipient of the Artist's Journey Trophy for Junior Composers. Hurray for Laura!
Prozac™ Moment of the Week After having a beautiful wedding cake made and decorated, Cindy put it in a friend's freezer for storage last week...Little did anyone know that the freezer was not working...
|
.
| comes courtesy of www.digits.com |
