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The Black Hole© |
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Friday June 23, 2000 Hey Hey, Welcome to issue 3 of The Black Hole©, your source of Nosey News©. It's been a hectic week, what with pulling out my winter coat one day, and looking for my bathing suit the next. I seem to have developed a nasty case of laryngitis and I absolutely cannot speak (ohmygawd can you believe it?). I spent 2 1/2 hrs on the phone booking airline tickets for our trip later this month. Perhaps this caused my problem. I am still waiting for reader input, so some of the following news may or may not be straight from my imagination. You'll have to judge for yourself... Disclaimer: There is no intention of maliciousness involved with this newsletter, only the pursuit of the comedy and tragedy of our everyday lives… On the Home Front... Adam has a job for the summer cutting Grandma's grass. He gets to use the riding lawnmower...watch out! Of course Jordan is thoroughly upset by this and insists on starting his own business. Anyone need a high-pitched screamer for the summer??? He's very good at it. Mike has done a wonderful job with the keyboards for So New (the song we are doing in Calgary). I have asked Laura to sing the harmony so I have someone to hide behind while we perform... Wanted: Person to clean toilet, do the
laundry, chauffeur the children, cook gourmet meals with bologna and Ragu, be a love goddess, super sock-sleuth, master gardener, and
numerous other mundane jobs 24 hrs a day, 365 days a year. Wages are
nil but benefits include sleepy smiles and priceless moments. |
First Edition Issue 3
Hot
Links www.rinkworks.com/dialect www.camarades.com email the editor with your Nosey News
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| Joke of the Week from Karen A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer. "After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?" Ready for Alberta I have altered the words to So New in order to reach my Alberta audience at Cindy's wedding. Here is an excerpt: ah love yo' like ah love th' sunrise, ah feel awe. ah
love yo' like ah love a meadow, an' ah's calm, dawgone it. An' ah love yo'
like ah love a thunnersto'm, yer so noo. An' ah love yo' 'cuz ah see
mahse'f in yo Down on the Farm... Mark and the boys went branding on Saturday at a ranch just around the corner.
Everything was very traditional, lots of folks came out to help and everyone
pitched in to get the 170 calves done. Every calf was branded, vaccinated,
de-horned, implanted and castrated where necessary. The ropers, wranglers, and wrestlers
were kept busy all afternoon. Naturally when the job was done there was plenty
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Prozac™ Moment of the Week A certain person (we don't tell), while on his break, decided to visit a friend. Little did he realize that the said friend was doing the nasty on the living room couch, in plain view of the windows and door. Get a room! Prozac™ Moment of the Week ll Just remembered this one, my classmate Angelika and I decided to sneak out for a little break on Friday. We went onto the roof patio, had our break, and found we were locked out of the school. Now, seeing as nobody else goes out there and the patio is at the back of the school, we were stuck for about 40 minutes. On a roof. Up two stories. Angelika thought she might slide down the gas pipes. I was not happy....
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